Light is returning, I force my smile and it feels better.  I work to challenge myself, to do what I've not done before, for me...just me. And that feels foreign, tinged with a tiny bit of guilt that my actions for the day were not for my kids, or once, for him.  I tentatively check out what thats like, "doing for me", and knowing it is an important "life lesson" as my daughter likes to quote.  She is 9 years old, and so smart, so sensitive.  My son is too, in his teenage microcosm as it should be, would be if all were "normal".  And it is,... Normal.  So life lesson of the day, is to do things for me, to take care of me, with no guilt- no "who do you think you are".  I am me, I amme, and I need to take care, to love and nurture me.  Iamme. Light. Smile. Joy.