Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”
(O. Khayyim)
I am not sad all the time, though stress and work are my soldiers. So is happiness and self-awareness, I am happy to report. It is the testament of all that we say should "work", introspection and spiritual awakening to find that sweet spot that says "let me function". So I am. Functioning.
Things are not all roses and unicorns. But I have jumped into the cadence of life; my work, my children, my desire to have my own identity. I work out almost everyday at my gym, and love it. I have my small circle of people, who know me and I know. I don't know if that constitutes friendships as of yet, but I would like to say they are padding to those times when I have no one.
And that "no one" is a partner unto themselves, "they" keep me company in my own skin. Perhaps the truth is, I do have someone. It's me. (Hello, lol). I date, and often. But those comprise meetings of men from OKCupid, for example, who seem nice and in the same place as I. My mindset is to welcome an opportunity to meet new people, potential partners; but not to compromise on what I know I want, what I need. Friends, yes, but if there were to be more...well that is a criteria that must be complementary and not rigid. Some have reached into that inner circle, but then ousted (or have left, whatever that means). It's okay, truly. I would like to meet someone more "organically", but in whatever way that comes up..I know everyone is traveling on their own path. It's the journey which might complement mine but I sure do not want to live it for them.
Strewth. I have no idea how I got to this place.
But I'm staying here for now.
And whoever is reading this, I truly hope you are finding your peace. In the meantime, I'll be back.
Many blessings.
