Empty

Feeling like a whiner, an empty vessel unsure of what to do next. No longer wanting grief, afraid to step forward. Conflicted. Sad. Missing my life, and worse, missing him and our life, forever undone. Children asleep, I am awake. Where do I go from here, a place in my life stretching before me that feels like it will be a lonely life, or a less than filling one.  But I don't want that, I expect more,. So what do I do? Questions, and answers stretch before me in a flat and endless path...