The Dark fire...

If you are trying to rise out of the ashes, it means that at one point there was a fire burning hotly.  The dark is where the sad shadow memories might live....
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THE DARK

Loneliness is an insipid feeling that can crawl into the crevices of your sadness. 
It hardens like cement to create a casing of pain around a core of wishes.
Wishes for happiness, joy, freedom from pain.
For your deepest desires fulfilled.

Sometimes, in the darkest of emotions do my tears wash over this solid lump of nothing,
acid washing the surface.  It is then do I question the why. 

Why feel this pain, the inimitable sorrow,
to move it forward to a goal I want to touch.

I seek blindly forward like a woman who cannot see.  It angers me for a victim
I do not wish to be.  To break free and smash this lump to bits so I might
free the joy locked within and
face the unknown of all that I know not.

Others, many others have travelled this way.  I walk along side--
but some are running down the road past me, others
crawling on their knees.  Not I.

I will face the unknown bravely if I can.  And
remind myself of the goodness and value that is within me.

To let my storyline be filled with happiness and the confidence that all will be well
for me.
To be done with the sorrow that continues to seek me out.

To be done.

In the meantime, I will seek prayer and guidance from my sources of strength in my moments of weakness.  My life feels frozen in repose as though waiting, waiting for release....I must let it be done
wherever it goes I know not. 
But done it must be.