I am a feminist. Apparently.

The connotation nowadays seems to be smeared with sticky, icky feelings.  The generation has now reached a point, where it seems many of us don’t remember what it means to really be crap not because of something we did, but because of something we are.

Can we get any more personal than that?

So when I say I am a feminist, it really means to me that I am saying that I don’t want to be pre-judged by the fact that I am a woman.  Or for that matter, by my ethnicity. 

 I am of  Japanese heritage..although whatever the Hell that means I am sure I don’t know.  I grew up in an all-white, middle suburban Christian neighborhood, and now live in a predominantly all-white (with large smatterings of Persian) Christian and Jews…so my ethnic identity is fakakta, to say the least.  It’s not like I am trying to be something I’m not..but really..how do people expect me to be “ASIAN” and all that that image might represent to those of us who have been privy to the stereotypes (usually unflattering) when my cultural identity seems more firmly ensconced in educated white middle class girl.  Yup..say it proudly.  WTF.  It’s with a sense of humor that I have given up on trying to figure out what I am because in the end, like Popye says, “IYAMWHATIYAM” (or was that God’s quote in the Bible??)

It’s just that when other people keep insisting they know me, I have to wonder.  Who the F**k  are you, and why do you think you know anything about me??

In truth, I guess, I am really not different from other people though.  In trying to make sense of a world that often has none, I (just like everyone) try to grab hold of those facilitory guides that might give me a clue as to what people will do, what they will say, and whether they might hurt me.  So I guess my take is that, as a feminist, I better be a tolerant one..So let me remember please…that extra layer of me, now has an identified peel of pragmatic feminism  growing on me.  I will be who I am.  I will be a proud and independent woman (even if some days I still come home to cry and look for my mommy).