I have a face that is moonfaced. I always have, and now with the slightly overweight physique, it feels heavier. Not who I like to look at, or I necessarily identify with. But it is not a horrible face. Nor an unpleasant one. I look at my eyes, and I see humor and intelligence. Kindness. It is what I do feel in my heart. But then my eyes migrate down, and I see my pouch, the slightly overhanging one over my jeans. My upper arms are heavy too, but also strong so they have a masculine feel, not very feminine.
Inside, I know I am a good and beautiful person. And it takes me by surprise, sometimes, when I see a photo of myself, because I dont feel as how I look. Older, more heavy. Does that sound as contrived or stereotyped? Yes, it does. But I know I am not physically ugly, just not a ten.
And when I look at men I find attractive, I think they won't find me the same. And that stinks. The men who might find me attractive, are those who dont take care of their own appearance- and I feel I do, so what is the disconnect? Time for more honest appraisal of how I am living my life perhaps. Fair is fair.
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