Quiet

I woke up today feeling mildly depressed.  No real reason, though I hadn't slept well.  I am lounging in bed, pretending to be sleeping from my kids, lol. And they are cool with that, bless them.   

When I wake up now, it is not so much about waking with the loss of him, or how he is probably waking in the arms of her.  Or not, if I think about the true dynamics of how his habits are- I lived with him for 22 years for heavens sake.

No, I now wake immersed in that morning stillness, not an entirely bad feeling actually.  But quiet.  I wonder if I should be waking with more happiness, or joy. Should I be leaping out of bed with full anticipation of what life will bring?  

Sounds great in concept, but maybe I'll make coffee first....